Midlife Job Change? Consider Piracy!
Tired of being a desk jockey? Tired of working in a meeting mill? I am here to offer you a new opportunity to see life from a new perspective: the deck of a freighter!! We’re looking for adventurous self-starters who don’t back down when the going gets tough. Your puny salary will PALE in comparison to the millions, or at least thousands, you’ll rake in as a PIRATE on the high seas!!
Consider this testimonial from one of our best and brightest:
In the eyes of the world, the pirates have been misunderstood. “We don’t consider ourselves sea bandits,” he said. “We consider sea bandits those who illegally fish in our seas and dump waste in our
seas and carry weapons in our seas. We are simply patrolling our seas. Think of us like a coast guard.”
A coast guard with BIG GUNS! No more wasting your time doing ineffectual “project planning” or “financial analysis” (what IS that?!), grab your AK-47s and join the fun! If you don’t believe me, trust the BBC News. In an article entitled “Somali Pirates Living the High Life,” one man says, “They wed the most beautiful girls; they are building big houses; they have new cars; new guns,” he says. “Piracy in many ways is socially acceptable. They have become fashionable.”
Send your resume and cover letter to:
Exxon Corporation
5959 Las Colinas Boulevard
Irving, Texas 75039-2298
(972) 444-1000
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