You Just Can’t Make This Stuff Up

pp.jpgOkay, so first off, APOLOGIES for a THIRD shameless post in a row about Palin… I know, I’m obsessing as bad as the rest of the media. But today’s news threw me into a gleeful tizzy of laughter. Because I’d been balking at the horrible bloggers who were writing about how Palin’s 4-month old son, Trig, actually belonged to Palin’s 17-year old daughter, and that Palin (senior) was covering for her daughter’s mistake.

Today’s news changed all that. Those bad bloggers were rebuked with a big smackdown of fact. Let’s take a true-or-false quiz, shall we? Yay! Quiz!

  1. Bristol Palin, aged 17, is not Trig’s mother… TRUE!
  2. Bristol Palin CANNOT be Trig’s mother because she’s already four months pregnant… TRUE!
  3. Bristol Palin prayed for at least six months while she was having unprotected sex that God would remind her mom to put just a few condoms in the bathroom drawer… TRUE! (well, at least I bet it’s true, the poor thing!)
  4. Bristol’s own baby will be named Geometry, ‘Geo’ for short… OK, I MADE THAT UP! Get it? Like Trig-onometry? Although I betcha it’s Trig like trigger, like as in gun or rifle or AK-47…
  5. Sarah Palin and all the ultraconservatives will welcome the blessed miracle into the family and no one will say word one about how Bristol really should’ve taken her VERY EFFECTIVE ABSTINENCE-ONLY sex education to heart, er, to bed, er, to the car, or wherever the ungodly act occured. TRUE!
  6. Geometry Palin will have an uncle who’s THE SAME AGE for four-months of the year. I realize this is fairly common for ultraconservatives. Hmmm, something to think about there, like maybe Sarah and her daughter should’ve shared a pack! TRUE!

If you guessed TRUE for all of the above, I’ll email you a membership to Planned Parenthood as a prize! Okay, no I won’t but it does prove that you’re just as cynical (and liberal, yay!) as me. Oh yeah, and think about joining anyway. It’ll take some cash to recover from the Bush hell years.

I really do wish the best for Bristol and her mom/grandma. It’s so awful that it all had to happen under the glaring microscope of an election.

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September 1, 2008 | Filed Under Election '08, Problematic Parenting 

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