Scott McClellan Can’t Hold a Candle to Some of My Bosses

Oh, Scott. You poor guy. You’ve poured your heart and soul (if you have one) into your book bemoaning your very high-paying, high-profile job that you performed without a squeak of protest for a bad, bad boss. It seems you’ve taken advantage of low poll numbers to make some coin. Fact is, you were part of the problem, weren’t you? You were part of the administration the got us into a PRE-EMPTIVE war in Iraq. You remained silent, and now you want to point out just how bad all ‘those’ people were? Well, I have news for you! You think George W. Bush was a bad boss? P-chah! You never had to work with DONUT BOY!! Or the 300-pound wiccan princess we called THE SNAVE!! These people were truly frightening!

donut_boy.jpgLet’s start with Donut Boy, shall we? Did he pay well? Did he respect other people? Did he swallow his massive, bulging mouthful of donut before talking? Hmmm. No, no, and no. Did he make sexually explicit comments when he was in your office and no one could hear? WHILE EATING DONUTS?! Hmmm. I bet George did not. And to make matters worse, Donut Boy was arrogant and stinking rich. Because he’d been one of the founders of a very successful company and they’d paid him a lot of stock to leave. [Note the attractive man eating a donut in this photo does not resemble the real donut boy in any way. I've spared you!]

wiccan_boy.jpgAnd Scott, you cannot imagine the joy and pleasure of working for the Snave. Snave was excessively concerned about commas and their proper usage. Snave was a large woman, which in itself is not a problem at all, but she was a large woman who groaned loudly, grew her armpit hair, and passed gas. In my cubicle. IN MY CUBICLE PEOPLE, AS IN — NO WHERE TO RUN! Did George Bush ever do this? Now that I think of it, maybe he did! But let’s get back to Snave… She had a boyfriend, a wiccan boyfriend who wore a wiccan cape, weighed at least 200 pounds less than her, and in all ways resembled the hobbit Pippin. Including the bare feet. Little furry bare feet padding down the industrial-carpeted hallway, hood up, searching for the giantess that was his woman. The worst part? I COULDN’T STOP MYSELF FROM IMAGINING THEM IN BED! Ew.

I’m no fan of George Bush, but Scott? Do you really think he was worth a book deal? I’ve got you beat by a mile!

[You know you're dying to tell us about your worst boss... Put it in the comments!]

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June 4, 2008 | Filed Under The Jabba Jabba 

Comments

3 Responses to “Scott McClellan Can’t Hold a Candle to Some of My Bosses”

  1. danielle casa on June 5th, 2008 10:08 pm

    I have had so many “bad bosses”, but I think my favorite was the one that wrote me up for not inviting her to my birthday party, luckily we had a top notch HR department that quickly recinded the write up and gave me a paid day off for my birthday… Hush money works for me..

  2. Bobbie Wood on June 6th, 2008 8:46 am

    Wow. Your boss wasn’t six years old was she?? Amazing!

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