Evidence of Civilization Found on Mars

mars_surface The NASA craft Phoenix landed on the surface of Mars yesterday and immediately sent back photos of the alien surface covered in Martian dirt. The probe took soil samples back to the onboard mass spectrometer where it was promptly discovered that the soil was composed entirely of discarded styrofoam packing peanuts.

Scientists were mystified at first. Chief Planetary Exploratory Engineer Dave C. Wood explained, “We had no idea why there were so many styrofoam peanuts.” It was two hours later when the probe unearthed a massive stack of unopened Christmas cards. “We realized then that there had indeed been a civilization on Mars. They were addicted to shipping Christmas presents. We believe it was the reason the whole civilization imploded beneath the weight of the peanuts.”

alien_xing_thumb_640.jpgScientists will continue to delve into this ongoing puzzle, but for now, world leaders of 112 nations are proposing a ban on holiday shipping worldwide. The head of the United Nations, Mr. Ban De Knuts, urged moderation from world citizens in the light of this new discovery. “All this time we have been thinking we need to curb our weapons of mass destruction. Now we find it is our shipping habits!”

Could we truly be the descendants of addictive shoppers and shippers? Further exploration will surely tell!

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May 26, 2008 | Filed Under Future Freak 

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